Dirty little Love secrets and the Adultery clause!

Does your life lead others to encounter love?

Why would I ask that question on a blog about adultery? At the most broken time of your life in the midst of betrayal love seems the farthest from you. Quite possibly your heart is so numb by the deep shattering of your heart in places you didn’t even realize existed. So whats love got to do with it?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing can overtake the presence of love. I’m not talking about the emotional high and the feel good vibes you get when you’re around someone. Or even how you’ve built your whole world around another person kind of emotion. I’m referring to the dirty, gritty, laborious, sweat dripping, body odor causing from the sun beating hard on your body kind of toil. You know where every bone in your body cries for relief because you j u s t   can’t  g i v e anything more. That is all you have got! Have you ever had to exert yourself in such a way? I’m narrowing it in here to focus on complete exhaustion. Either physically or spiritually there is just nothing more that all your doing can change. All options are as exhausted as you are! This is where the deep calls the deep. Going to places that you can never go. This is the hardcore warfare of travailing.This place is where dead things rise. Where grave clothes are removed and the dust that remains calls life forth.

This is where what you once thought was love reveals it is counterfeit. That priceless price tag, now has a number. It is not surprising that even though your account is short or even in the red, you’re still ready to beg, borrow and steal to get what it takes to pay that price. You just want out. It’s all said and done, you’ve done what you could, but now you’re done, DONE and you just want out.You’ll take the compromise it’s not worth it. I mean otherwise, you’d have to be exposed that you are really just not going to work that hard. No way you’d allow sweat stains or body odor causing labor to ruin your pretty black dress. Or maybe you are used to getting dirty in t-shirts and jeans and you don’t want to wear that stoic suit. It’s not about the dress metaphor it’s about the price you pay. All uncomfortable either way will cost you something. You’ve lost it all you say, you have no more to lose. I caution you, guard your words, there is always more you can lose.

I’m shooting straight to the heart here. Love, real love endures. It is a fighter to the death. It is not something that quits. Its the real deal. Adultery doesn’t just expose the cheating partner, it also exposes the betrayed. Its light is so bright that it blinds the eye and no one escapes the heat! Will you stand in the refiners fire and let adultery expose the counterfeit? 

I want to stir the fight in you! I know the low blow of betrayal will knock the wind out of you, and you may not have any fight left within you at the moment. I’m talking though about the kind of adrenaline that kicks in when your house has been invaded by armed thieves with intent to kill all that is precious to you. You know those innocent precious children sleeping in the other room, or maybe your dreams of someday children, or whatever it is that you will protect with all that is within you. Life or death is at hand here!! That which has invaded your home is vicious and evil, yet it is not your cheating spouse or even the other person. I know they can feel like they are the enemy but ADULTERY is your enemy. It is trying to destroy the covenant of your marriage. 

So we circle back to the question, does your life lead others to encounter love? To lead others, you must first go there yourself. I went there. I went into the depths of the canyon of adultery.  It wasn’t something I could leap across. I had to put on my work clothes. I had to admit that while I thought I knew what love was, I truly did not! I had to redefine my life. I don’t ever feel like getting out of bed early, but I did. I set the alarm early. I knew it was time to punch in and I made the choice. I’m not fooling around, I’m here to battle! I’m still in my work clothes, and while they change with the seasons my mission remains the same. I’m standing!

I encountered the truth of love! It set me free!! I took off my grave clothes. paid the price and took many a loss, yet I won’t give in. EVER!! No matter what my husband or the other woman threw at me, I learned to deactivate their bombs through prayer. I encountered LOVE and continually shed that which is not. The only way out is through the fire. I walked through the fire and by the grace of God I didn’t get burned! I’m standing firm, battle ready to protect this house for the rest of my days! So while everyone is throwing around definitions of love, that have conditions and limits, that give you the loop hole of the adultery clause; here I am to challenge you to encounter the truth of Love. It is the most powerful and dangerous force that destroys the works of hate and all that tries to destroy you or your family!

Whatever your battling today my friend, lay it at the feet of Love.

I can promise you it never fails!!

You will overcome!   

  

How to overcome adultery!

What you waiting for???

 

I am not waiting for someone

to show me the way-

 

GOD says

C R E A T E

YOUR OWN way!

 

He GAVE me the

POWER to

speak into

the atmosphere

and

CREATE

{my} LIFE.

 

 

even

in the

midst

of

opposition,

circumstance,

and pain!

It has not

stopped

me…

it only

f u e l e d   me

to being

sharper

and more

influential!!

 

My life is

full of what

I’ve created

around me.

It is {my}

powerful

weapon.

 

I LACK NOTHING.

because

PRAISE

is NOT

what i DO

its

WHO I AM!

 

I will NOT BE SILENT.

You WILL hear me

when I DON’T even

SAY A WORD.

 

Praise processes

you into possession.

therefore, I lack

NOT_ A_ THING.

 

What are YOU waiting for?

 

CREATE YOUR LIFE!

Why is Porn bad? It doesn’t hurt my marriage, it helps!

Have you watched porn with your spouse? Or said the words, it can just spice up and be healthy for our sex life (you know it’s not hurting when watched between married couples), ~I know I have thought that~…then please take a listen to this gals story.

Also consider that same thought is completely selfish, because you are only considering what it means to you. Have you ever considered how the persons involved suffer while you’re enjoying your thrill?  Of course not! You may think like I did once well maybe they chose that lifestyle, I’m sure they are not all forced. Don’t downplay it! Seriously. I was so grieved by a statement one night by a human trafficking movement leader that cut right through my justifications. “If you don’t confront a first time offense you are guilty of creating a serial offender because you’ve turn a blind eye.”

Wow, that went deep for me. I was immediately brought back to a memory of walking through the living room and hearing my husband watching an episode of the TV show “Cheaters” from our opened bedroom (we didn’t have a TV in our living room). It stopped me in my tracks for a moment, because it was not even a show that he would consider watching, yet he was! Yet I never turned completely around to ask him about it, I just kept walking into the other room because I was in the middle of something. I shrugged it off, it’s not a big concern! Really. Yes this was a months before even meeting the other woman. Looking back now I can see that was a sign of what was in his thoughts, yet I didn’t pay enough attention! There it was so heavy, conviction. Now I know I didn’t cause my husband to cheat, but yet there were many more instances that came to mind, where my attention was needed to address some things, but instead I remained selfishly silent. I was blinded by selfishness. I was guilty, no way around it. I thought our marriage “knew” better, because of things we had walked previously through, and I trust my husband, and well we love each other!! What I came to realize was, there were some deeply buried roots related to what we allowed ourselves to watch, including “harmless” pornography.

In the midst of the raw emotion of betrayal. I knew I could no longer watch movies or TV shows that romanticized “forbidden love” aka adultery, and even more specifically sex scenes! My eyes opened and awareness heightened, I realized I needed an extreme filter! Yikes, hard to impose without being prudish. I enjoy creative and well written films, especially independent ones yet once I began to filter, my choice of movies quickly dwindled. I became painfully aware of what I had allowed in my mind. Though there are a lot of movies that aren’t “officially” porn, they indeed are meant to endorse sex outside of marriage, as well as create arousal. I for the sake of my heart and marriage had to enforce those boundaries. My mind was not healthy and I found watching movies altered my moods, my mind and took me places that were not emotionally or mentally healthy for the restoration of my marriage.

Porn Kills Love.

“When a person looks at pornography they start to loose interest in real relationships. Quickly they can become more interested in porn that in people. Pornography sets false expectations for sex, messes up what true intimacy looks like, and takes away one’s desire to be with another person.” Fight The New Drug

I didn’t realize how much unhealthy was in my marriage. I had to learn to confront, for the sake of intimacy. It is a continual journey! I have learned so much about affairs, and porn addiction, that I can no longer live the same!

The facts of how porn is like a drug!

……….and most importantly like porn how an affair is an illusion and betrayal lies!!

I will not be selfishly silent anymore!

Love confronts, not for the sake of destruction, but for the sake of healing!

A free book if your husband is addicted to porn.